~ Remember that when you're standing on the edge of a cliff, the best way to make progress is to back up.
One of my favorite stories concerns a young lad who was confronted by three bullies with violence in mind. Quickly, the little guy drew a line on the ground, stepped back several feet, looked the biggest bully in the eye and said, "Now, you just step over that line." Confidently, the big bully stepped over the line, preparing to commit mayhem on the little guy. Quickly the little fellow grinned and said, "Now we're both on the same side."
Physically, they were both on the same side. But emotionally they were still some distance apart. The smaller boy improved his chances of getting on the same side emotionally by his touch of wit and wisdom. This is an excellent combination to diffuse most crisis situations and represents a major step in solving whatever problem exist.
There are several lessons parents, managers, and educators can learn from this little vignette.
- First, whether it is a parent-child, management-labor, or teacher-student situation, both really are on the same side and the best way to win is for both sides to win.
- Second, a sense of humor can be very helpful in removing communications barrier by revealing your human side and establishing rapport.
- Third, sometimes it's necessary for the big bully (the person in authority) to move to the other side of the table (across the line). This let associates, children, or employees clearly understand that they really are on the same side and open to listening to ideas from both sides of that line.
- Fourth, it is always important and to our advantage to maintain our perspective by being open and fair-minded as we look at life from the other person's perspective.
Unquote.
Dear Parents,
When your child throws tantrums, whining, or angry with you for certain things, it is because he is not on your side. Instead, of being angry and punish him, why not think of other ways to get them over to your side.
Yesterday, when I came home, I witnessed my son whining and crying loudly because his mother didn't allow him to do something that he insisted on doing. I tried to talk to him gently to get him to stop whining and crying, but to no avail. Hence, I decided to redirect his attention to other thing instead of focusing on what he wanted to do. I got him to my side, and immediately, he stopped his whining and crying.
When a child is crying or whining, it is very difficult to talk sense into them. In fact, the more you talk to them, the more he may whine or cry, and make you angrier. But when he is in a stable condition, it is easier to tell them what is right and wrong. Be it a little child or a teenager, all we need is to try to get them to our side. Maybe, occasionally, you can get over to their side and try to understand them.
