Failure Is Critical to Success

Quoted from Zig Ziglar:

With dreams there's no need to go to dreamland via drugs and alcohol.

"You've got to learn to lose in order to win" sounds like strange advice, but the man who says it has earned over $300 million. Even in today's economy, that's a considerable sum of money. Here's the story.

In 1958 Frank and Dan Carney started a pizza parlor across from their family's grocery store. Their goal was to pay for their college educations.Nineteen years later, Frank Carney sold the 3100 outlet chain called "Pizza Hut" for $300 million.

Carney's advice to those starting out in business sounds strange, but he explains the concept this way: I've been involved in about fifty different business ventures and about fifteen of them were successful. That means I have about a thirty percent success average." The major point Frank makes is this: You need to be "at bat" if you ever expect to get a hit, and it's even more important to step back up to the plate after you strike out.

Carney says Pizza Hut was successful because he learned from his mistakes.For example, when Oklahoma City expansion effort failed, he realised the importance of location and decor. He learned from his mistake so that the future would be brighter. When sales declined in New York, he came up with the innovative idea of introducing thick crust, with substantial success. When regional pizza houses began to take part of the market share, Frank responded by introducing "Chicago-style pizza," and again success came his way. Factually, Carney failed many times but in each case he made those failures work for him.

Failure is an experience common to all of us.

Question: Will you let those failures work for you or against you? If you do as Frank Carney did, you will use your failures as learning experiences.
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Some learning points:
1) Learn to lose in order to win
2) Realised the importance of location and decor.
3) Came up with the innovative idea.
4) Responded (take actions)
5) Made those failures work for you.
6) Failure is an experience common. 

We can teach ourselves and our children some of the learning points above. Don't give up because you fail once or twice. Thomas Edison had 1,000 tries to invent the light bulb. In other words, he failed a whopping 999 times before he reached success. Soon after Edison revealed his earth-shattering invention, a French reporter asked, “Mr. Edison, how did it feel to fail 999 times?” As the story goes, Thomas Edison just smiled and replied, “Young man, I have not failed 999 times. I have simply found 999 ways how not to create a light bulb.”

Today, many adults are not able to face failure. This started when they were young. Many parents expect their children to excel and do well, and protect them from failures or expect no failure from them. Hence, when these children become adults,  they may not have the tenacity to face failure.

Allow your child to fail. When he failed, guide him to overcome.

Gossip Is Enormously Destructive

Quoted from Zig Ziglar:

We frequently hear little jokes about gossip, like the two people who were talking and one said, "I can't tell you any more. I've already told you more than I heard" In that line is much of the tragedy of gossip, which can, and often has, destroyed a person's reputation. Gossip always damages relationships, specifically with the person you are gossiping about. For example, once you have said something unkind about a person, you will feel uncomfortable around them and your relationship with them will suffer.

Dr Adrian Rogers wisely points out that before we disseminate information that might be considered gossip, we must carefully ponder three questions:
1) Is it truth? If it fails the first test, then it is not repeatable.
2) Even if it is truth, do you need to share it? Will it help anyone? Will it hurt anyone? Would it be better left unsaid? If there are no benefits to anyone, then what possible purpose could repeating it serve? 
3) Is it kind? In our world so full of cynicism and skepticism, will repeating this story be kind? Would it better left unsaid? Would you really be better off repeating this information? 
When you analyse it this way, your chances of being a gossiper are dramatically reduced.

When you consider the benefits of stopping gossip in it tracks, you'll discover they're substantial.
First, you do not damage yourself, which means that your reputation and esteem are untarnished. That's good.
Second, you won't harm someone else's reputation. This means that you circle of friends will be larger. Since most of us do not have any friends we would like to lose, that's good.

Unquote.

Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do to you.
Setting a good role model for our children. Gossip not only will hurt you, it may hurt your family. Your children may also learn from you.
Stop it before it grows too big beyond control.

Getting Out of the Box

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

It is not the brains that matter most, but that which guides them - the character, the heart, generous qualities, progressive ideas. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Many people set low ceilings on their expectations and capabilities. In the process, they place themselves in a "box". Alexander Whortley took a step farther and literally lived in a box. It was a mini-trailer, three feet wide, four feet long, and five feet high. He lived there until he died at the age of eighty. His box was made of wood, had a metal roof, and it housed him and all his meager belongings. Regardless of where he worked, Whortley chose to spend his life in that cramped space, even though larger, more comfortable quarters were always available.

Few of us live in a "box". However, too many of us have a tendency to "box" ourselves in and continue to do things one way because we've "always done it this way." In many cases, time and experience have proved that "this way" is the best way. However, I challenge you to periodically take a long walk or quietly sit and think about the way you do things.
- Ask yourself if there might not be a better way.
- Could your procedures be simplified?
- Are they necessary at all?
- Could your product be longer? Shorter? A different shape? Another fabric? Another color?
Sometimes you can come up with simple ideas that make a big difference. Incidentally, one advantage of a way of life that includes continual personal growth and education is that the broader and deeper your knowledge base, the more creative your problem-solving approach to life.

Simple example: For years men's coats had an inside pocket only on the right where pens and other items were kept. One day somebody had a thought: Since most men are right-handed, why not put a pocket on the inside left so that they could reach in, extract the pen with their right hand, and begin writing? Not monumental, but it saves a second or two and it's sold lots of suits.
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Microsoft team had an interesting thinking out of the box advertisement.
Do take a look.
As parent, we should not "box" our children up in their learning. Instead, believe that they can learn many things, in or out of the "box".

 Book Recommendation

Let Your Reach Exceed Your Grasp

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

Motivation is needed to change the costume of the dream to the work clothes of reality based on the goals generated by the dream.

In one of the US major universities a professor of economics gave a test to his class. The test had several sections of questions, each of which contained three categories of questions. He instructed the students to choose one question from each section on the test. The first category in each section was the hardest and was worth 50 points. The second category in each section was not quite as hard and worth 40 points. The third category in each section was the easiest and worth only 30 points.

When the students had taken the test and all the papers had been turned in, the students who had chosen the hardest questions, or the 50-point questions, were given A's. The students who had chosen the 40-point questions were given B's, and the students choosing the 30-point questions, or the easiest questions, were given C's. Whether or not their answers were correct was not considered. Understandably, the students were confused and asked the professor how he had graded the exam. The professor leaned back and with a smile explained, "I wasn't testing your knowledge. I was testing your aim."

I believe it was Browning who said, "Your reach should exceed your grasp, or what's a heaven for?" Langston Hughes wrote, "Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die then life is like a broken-winged bird that cannot fly." Yes, we need those dreams or, if you prefer a vision. Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said, "Where there is no vision, the people perish" (Pro.29:18 KJV). Helen Keller was asked the question, "What would be worse than being blind?" She responded that it would be definitely worse to have 20/20 eyesight and no vision than to be blind but have that vision.

In the declining years of his life, Albert Schweitzer was asked, "How goes it with you, Dr Schweitzer?" The aging medical missionary responded, "My eyesight grows dim, but my vision is clearer than ever."

Anti Roddick ~ If you ever think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in bed with a mosquito.
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Do you have a vision, a dream or plan for your child? Does your child has a vision, dream or plan of his own? If he doesn't have any, then help him to establish one. That is our role as parent. If you don't have a vision or dream for yourself, you may want to start having one now. It is never too late to have one.

Pull your dreams into the daylight,

And give them wings to fly.

Get on that runway called life. 

Then takeoff toward the sky.

The future of success is waiting.

This is “your” life, live it. - 

Quoted - http://karlenepetitt.blogspot.sg/2012/02/give-your-dreams-wings-to-fly.html#sthash.dykH4zvl.dpuf

Listen to this soothing instrumental music- Let Dream Fly

A beautiful Chinese Song: Let the Dreams Fly

Change Can Be Good for You

Quoted from Zig Ziglar short stories.

'We get comfort from those who agree with us and growth from those who don't'

In today's world of societal and corporate change, job security is a thing of the past. While we must face the fact that change is inevitable, we should also realise that many changes are positive and benefit both individuals and groups.

Some things you can change and some you can't. You cannot change when you were born, where you were born, how you were born, or to who you were born. It's a fact that if you were born Chinese you will always be a Chinese and if you both a Malay you will remain as a Malay. It's a fact that you cannot change a single event that has already happened. You can't change one whisper of yesterday. Tomorrow, however, is an entirely different matter. If you're willing to change your thinking today, you can change your life and your living to make your tomorrow better and brighter. 

Just to share a story quoted from http://changingminds.org/blog/0601blog/060127blog.htm

The Conquering Spirit The eleven king called together his three sons. "It is time for you to make your mark." he told them, "Beyond our borders are unknown worlds of dragons, maidens and black-hearted knights. Go out and conquer." And so his sons ate the feast of the departing, donned the green and set out across the world. * After three years, the first son returned and the whole court came out to greet him. "What have you conquered?" asked the king. "I have slain dragons, rescued maidens and vanquished black knights." spoke the son. "I have conquered lands such that our territories are now doubled in size." "Boldly done!" said the king, gravely, "Those new lands shall be your kingdom to rule and protect." * After three more years, the second son returned, and the whole family came out to greet him. "What have you conquered?" asked the king. "I have parlayed with dragons, negotiated with black knights and made the maidens fair swoon." replied the son. "I have conquered the minds and hearts of ten kingdoms, and we now have fond allies all of the way to the Azure Sea." "Brightly done!" cried the king, "You shall be my most noble lord, ambassador in my stead to all of the lands." * After three more years, the third son did not return. After three further years, he still did not return. After three years again, a ragged stranger walked alone up the steps to the royal court. The old king was the only person to recognize the stranger. He came down from his throne, embraced his third son deeply, and then asked, "What have you conquered?" The son smiled a long smile. "I have slept with dragons and caroused with knights. I have danced with maidens and sung with the children. I have laughed with old men on the quay and cried with old women left alone. I have howled at the moon and lain in the sun. I have scaled high mountains and seen distant lands of mystery and promise. I have plumbed the depths and met magicians of the mind. "I lost some fear and gained some wonder. I lost some of myself and found some of other people. I tore down the walls of ignorance and found many more. And I have found my way home. I have no need to conquer or fight or persuade. Today is now enough for a lifetime." A deep silence fell over the court as the king thought long and fully about what his son had said. "Wisely done." he said, eventually, "For you have conquered yourself, and the world and the worlds beyond shall be your playground."

Analyse your situation, Have you gone as far as you can go and are you doing as well as you can with present procedures? If so, don't be afraid to take two steps back if it will enable you to move three steps forward. Don't be afraid to face your fear, if by overcoming it can bring you further. Don't be afraid to go against the norm (as long as it is legal), if it can help you to become a better person. 

If you find that your child is not performing as good as his friends, or is not behaving as what you want him to be. Don't fret but  look at what he is doing, ask him what is his purpose of doing this or what is obstructing him for performing. 

What we are asking him to do, could be what we desire him to be, but may not be who he want to be.

Let them to explore and grow. Give them to space to change. 

Last but not least, allow yourself to change too. 

Fixing Problems

I am starting a new series, related to parenting, quoted from Zig Ziglar. Hope that you will enjoy his short stories.

There is a saying that said: "You don't 'forget' negative thinking - you force it out with positive input."

Can you remember a day when you did not have some 'problem,' irritation, disappointment, defeat, or setback of some kind? It might be having to make an unexpected stop at the petrol station because your spouse drove your car and forgotten to refill it. Or maybe your boss gave you incomplete information on an important project and now you have to start all over. If this could happen to you, it could also happen to your child.

The big issue is not the problems. Do you let a simple problem dictate how you should behave the rest of the day, even the way you deal with other people? Sometimes it's hard to do, but ask yourself the question, What real differences does this make in my life tonight, or even in the morning? In most cases, you'll realise that it really doesn't matter. With that in mind, you'll be able to forget the problem of the moment and move on. I recalled that I was angry with my son over a small matter and I scolded him. Come to think of it, do I need to scold him? Will scolding him solve the problem? It may make him feel embarrass, angry, sad, or may lower his self-esteem. Instead, if I make use of the opportunity and share with him a learning value, he will grow in his character.

In conclusion, you can take control of your own thoughts, actions and emotions, which means you can take control of your life. The best way to deal with problems is to reorder your thinking and see them as opportunities to grow or mature. It also helps to remember that if there were no problems in your job, chances are good you would not be needed in your job. Chances are also good that the greater the difficulties, the greater the need for you to be there to handle them. That's the reason you're on the payroll. Similar in parenting, when your child makes a mistake, or run to you to seek help, you should be happy that you have an opportunity to guide him, so that he will learn and build his character. That's the reason you are his parent.

"There was a time that people thought that WWII was the end of the world, but it turned out that it is a new beginning for many nations." ~ Fosnus

From: http://getfitjess.com/2013/06/emotions-controlling-you/