We're Both on the Same Side

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

~ Remember that when you're standing on the edge of a cliff, the best way to make progress is to back up.

One of my favorite stories concerns a young lad who was confronted by three bullies with violence in mind. Quickly, the little guy drew a line on the ground, stepped back several feet, looked the biggest bully in the eye and said, "Now, you just step over that line." Confidently, the big bully stepped over the line, preparing to commit mayhem on the little guy. Quickly the little fellow grinned and said, "Now we're both on the same side."

Physically, they were both on the same side. But emotionally they were still some distance apart. The smaller boy improved his chances of getting on the same side emotionally by his touch of wit and wisdom. This is an excellent combination to diffuse most crisis situations and represents a major step in solving whatever problem exist.

There are several lessons parents, managers, and educators can learn from this little vignette.

• First, whether it is a parent-child, management-labor, or teacher-student situation, both really are on the same side and the best way to win is for both sides to win. 
• Second, a sense of humor can be very helpful in removing communications barrier by revealing your human side and establishing rapport. 
• Third, sometimes it's necessary for the big bully (the person in authority) to move to the other side of the table (across the line). This let associates, children, or employees clearly understand that they really are on the same side and open to listening to ideas from both sides of that line.
• Fourth, it is always important and to our advantage to maintain our perspective by being open and fair-minded as we look at life from the other person's perspective.

~ Enjoy your kids while they're young and still on your side.
Unquote.


Dear Parents,
When your child throws tantrums, whining, or angry with you for certain things, it is because he is not on your side. Instead, of being angry and punish him, why not think of other ways to get them over to your side.
Yesterday, when I came home, I witnessed my son whining and crying loudly because his mother didn't allow him to do something that he insisted on doing. I tried to talk to him gently to get him to stop whining and crying, but to no avail. Hence, I decided to redirect his attention to other thing instead of focusing on what he wanted to do. I got him to my side, and immediately, he stopped his whining and crying.
When a child is crying or whining, it is very difficult to talk sense into them. In fact, the more you talk to them, the more he may whine or cry, and make you angrier. But when he is in a stable condition, it is easier to tell them what is right and wrong. Be it a little child or a teenager, all we need is to try to get them to our side. Maybe, occasionally, you can get over to their side and try to understand them.

Looking for Mutually Beneficial Solutions

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

A winner is big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them. ~ John Maxwell

Every problem has a solution, but the best solutions are always mutually beneficial. Howard Putnam, in his book The Winds of Turbulence , tells this story. Baylor Hospital in Dallas had a major problem. They could  not get enough nurses who were willing to work weekends because they wanted to be with their families. But the leadership recognised that there were also a number of nurses, particularly those who had young children, who wanted to be with their children during the week so they could spend as much time with them as possible. In most cases, married nurses had husbands who worked a Monday-through-Friday schedule. Single mothers had an even greater need to be with their children as much as possible, so the thinking was very simple: Can we meet the needs of all these nurses?

Leadership then asked the question, "How can we help these mothers get what they want? How can we help the full-time nurses get what they want?" The solution, as Mr Putnam points out, was so obvious, one wonders why it took them so long to come up with the answer. Here's what they did: Since weekend work is generally considered overtime, they decided to make Saturday and Sunday twelve-hour shifts, for a total of twenty-four hours of duty. They paid these nurses for a full forty-hour week, so those nurses were elated to be able to get that kind of duty. On the other hand, the nurses who simply did not want to work overtime or weekends were elated that they could maintain their normal schedule. This truly was a win-win situation. The weekend nurses won, the full-time nurses won, and the hospital and patients were also big winners.

That's leadership at its best. The message is clear: Examine your alternatives; explore what the problem might be and ask yourself the question - Is the solution in the problems? In many cases it is.

Dennis The Menace ~ My problem is that I'm always good when nobody is watching.

Unquote.

Dear Parents,
When you face with some problems in handling your child, ask yourself these few questions:
1) What cause the problems to arise?
2) What have you tried to solve the problems?
3) Is the problem, the problem? Or is it that you think that it is a problem?
4) For every problem, there bounds to be a solution. Find it.

Hugging is the Answer

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

Watch your thought, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
- Motto, Metropolitan Milwaukee YMCA

Perhaps I feel this way because my wife is affectionately known as "The Happy Hugger." If it's moving she'll stop it and hug it, and if it's not moving, she'll dust it off and sell it! However, there's another reason I believe hugging is the answer. According to Greg Risberg of the Northwestern University Medical School in Chicago, the physiological benefits of hugging include a reduction of blood pressure and increased oxygen in the blood. He says that we all have a "skin hunger," and we are missing out on a vital part of our health if we're not getting in on some serious hugging. He maintains that four hugs a day are the minimum required to meet that skin hunger. From my perspective, I need lots more than four. Stanley Simon of the University of Massachusetts says that "hugging does more demonstrate affection. It actually seems to keep people healthy. The skin is the body's largest sensory organ. If it's under stimulated, many people actually develop an aching sensation. These are the people who will find it harder to get well and to stay well."

For the benefit of you husbands, let me tell you something about your wives. They love hugs but resent it when you ignore them all day and then give them your undivided attention when the lights go out at night. They want a hug when a hug is all you have on your mind. They don't necessarily want them to be long, and in most cases, they do not want them to be suggestive or sensual. The hug really says, "I love you, I enjoy being around you, your're important to me, I  look forward to spending more time with you." There's an old saying that actions speak louder that words, and to take a few seconds a number of times during the day to get and give those nonsuggestive hugs really speaks volumes. Give it a try.

~ When you act like a skunk, someone will eventually get wind of it. ~

Unquote.

Dear husband and wife, when is the last time that both of you hug one another?
When is the last time you say "I love you" to one another?
If you did not hug or say that to your spouse, most probably, you also did not do that to your children.
It only takes you a second to say "I love you" and another two to give a good hug.
Start doing it if you have not done so.
Do it for a day, you will see small changes.
Do it for a long time, you will see miracle.

Hope in the Future

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

Things turn out the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.

Dr John Maxwell says that if there's hope in the future there is power in the present. The reason is simple: Hope in the future has a dramatic impact on your thinking today. Your thinking today determines your performance today, and your performance today has a direct bearing on your future. Dr Tony Campolo of Eastern College in Pennsylvania says that your past is important because it brought you to where you are, but as important as your past is, it is not nearly as important as the way you see your future. He is saying, "I understand the problems of your past. I know that  you were abused as a child, raised by alcoholic parents, suffered through bankruptcy, depression, and/or alcoholism. You've gone through one or more divorces. All of these things are traumatic events that affect the way you think and the way you act." In no way is Dr Campolo denying any of the impact of your past, because many of those events are extremely significant. However, he is saying that despite all these things, the way you see your future is even more important.

John Johnson, publisher and owner of Ebony magazine and one of the four hundred wealthiest men in in America, says that "men and women are limited not by the place of their birth, not by the color of their skin, but by the size of their hope."

Make friends with your past so you can focus on today, which will make your tomorrows even better. If you are familiar with my material, you  realize that my nature is that of an optimist -- I just can't see any point in being pessimistic. I'm not talking about denial of reality; what I am talking about is facing reality, but facing it in an optimistic way.

It may be true that most people can't handle prosperity, but it is also true that most people don't have to.
Unquote.

Dear parents, if today you realise that you have made a mistake in your parenting style, it is not too late to change. The problem is, you may not want to change. Don't give yourself excuses. Acknowledge your mistake and move on.

Identify - Then Solve - The Problem

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

Watch out for phony or easy solutions to complex problems. When you spot a quack, duck.

Fortunately, problems are an everyday part of our lives. Consider this: If there were no problems, most of us would be unemployed. Realistically, the more problems we have and the larger they are, the greater our values to our employer.

Of course, some problems are small, like opening a ketchup bottle. Others are monumental, like a seriously ill or injured child or mate, which presents ongoing, daily complications. Successful living comes when we learn to handle those business and personal problems with as little fanfare as possible. The successful business executive can handle challenges and solve problems at a remarkable clip. He or she makes quick and final decisions as a result of years of experience. The homemaker with small children at home handles many "catastrophes" each hour with the same dispatch.

Many people use counterproductive methods to deal with problems:
1) They refuse to recognize them,
2) deny responsibility for them,
3) pretend they will go away if they ignore them, or are
4) just flat insensitive to them.

The first step in solving a problem is to recognize that it does exist. Next, we determine whether the problem is our responsibility. If the answer is yes, we must determine how serious and/or urgent it is. When that last determination is made, we either take immediate action if the problem is simple and quickly solvable or develop a plan of action and prioritize it if the solution is more difficult and time-consuming.
KEY POINTS:
1) Recognize that problem does exist
2) Determine whether the problem is our responsibility
3) Determine how serious and/or urgent the problem is
4) Take immediate action if the problem is simple and quickly solvable or develop a plan of action and  prioritize it if the solution is more difficult and time-consuming.

Problem solving becomes a very important part of our makeup as we grow into maturity or move up the corporate ladder. I encourage you to take the time to define the problem correctly, learn the skill or quick analysis and remember, if it weren't for problems in your life, your position might not be necessary in the first place. Ironing out the wrinkles and solving the problems are what most jobs are about.
Unquote.
Just for laugh
Small boy to mom: "You should be proud you have a child with enough guts to bring home a report card like that. Besides, you know I didn't cheat."

Apply the key points not just for yourself, but also teach them to your children. Children do also face with many problems. They need to learn how to overcome their problems, if not, they may run away from the problems in the future. Some of the problems they face includes:
1) Friendship issues
2) Bullying
3) School homeworks; exams; activities
4) How to pack their bags
Etc.
Teach them today, and they will be able to overcome in the future.

Overcoming Fear

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

Fear is the dark room where negatives are developed

Fear has been correctly identified with the acrostic False Evidence Appearing Real. The truth is that if we think something is to be feared, that perception becomes the cruelest form of reality.

A second-grade boy was overheard saying, "It's easy to be brave when you're not scared." By the same token, it's easy to talk about how to overcome fear when you have little to be afraid of. Fear is certainly real for some people and all of us face a fear of something - maybe it's  poverty, divorce, rejection, death, failure, speaking in public, or being laughed at.

How do we overcome fear? First, we must learn to examine our fears. Giving a speech is the number one fear in our country, according to Reader's Digest. (It's also a tremendous confidence-builder.) If that's your fear, ask yourself a few questions:

1) Why am I afraid to make a speech?
2) Is it because I'am afraid of being rejected?
3) If so, do I think I'll be rejected?
4) Do I believe what I'm about to say?
5) Is my speech worth giving?
6) Am I proud of the comments I'm about to make?

As you ask yourself these questions, the fear will begin to subside. It subsides because you have explored your subconscious mind with your questions and flushed out some of your fears.

My research indicates that only three people have died while making a speech. Since twelve billion people have lived and only three of them died making a speech, I'd say it's fairly safe thing to do. If you're a little nervous, consider this: You could lead a mule into a crowded room and he would be so calm that he would almost go to sleep standing up. A thoroughbred in the same situation would be as nervous as a cat. If you're a little nervous, just be grateful you're a thoroughbred - not a mule. So face those inner feelings, stand up, and speak with confidence.

Unquote.

If some adults have difficulty facing their fears, it will be the same for children.
Parents, if you notice that your child is facing some fears, instead of just telling him to be brave and faced it, try to understand their fears. Ask him to share with you what is it that he actually fear. Explore it with them. Encourage them to try out different ways to overcome it, while letting them know that you are supporting them.

Failure Is Critical to Success

Quoted from Zig Ziglar:

With dreams there's no need to go to dreamland via drugs and alcohol.

"You've got to learn to lose in order to win" sounds like strange advice, but the man who says it has earned over $300 million. Even in today's economy, that's a considerable sum of money. Here's the story.

In 1958 Frank and Dan Carney started a pizza parlor across from their family's grocery store. Their goal was to pay for their college educations.Nineteen years later, Frank Carney sold the 3100 outlet chain called "Pizza Hut" for $300 million.

Carney's advice to those starting out in business sounds strange, but he explains the concept this way: I've been involved in about fifty different business ventures and about fifteen of them were successful. That means I have about a thirty percent success average." The major point Frank makes is this: You need to be "at bat" if you ever expect to get a hit, and it's even more important to step back up to the plate after you strike out.

Carney says Pizza Hut was successful because he learned from his mistakes.For example, when Oklahoma City expansion effort failed, he realised the importance of location and decor. He learned from his mistake so that the future would be brighter. When sales declined in New York, he came up with the innovative idea of introducing thick crust, with substantial success. When regional pizza houses began to take part of the market share, Frank responded by introducing "Chicago-style pizza," and again success came his way. Factually, Carney failed many times but in each case he made those failures work for him.

Failure is an experience common to all of us.

Question: Will you let those failures work for you or against you? If you do as Frank Carney did, you will use your failures as learning experiences.
Unquote.

Some learning points:
1) Learn to lose in order to win
2) Realised the importance of location and decor.
3) Came up with the innovative idea.
4) Responded (take actions)
5) Made those failures work for you.
6) Failure is an experience common. 

We can teach ourselves and our children some of the learning points above. Don't give up because you fail once or twice. Thomas Edison had 1,000 tries to invent the light bulb. In other words, he failed a whopping 999 times before he reached success. Soon after Edison revealed his earth-shattering invention, a French reporter asked, “Mr. Edison, how did it feel to fail 999 times?” As the story goes, Thomas Edison just smiled and replied, “Young man, I have not failed 999 times. I have simply found 999 ways how not to create a light bulb.”

Today, many adults are not able to face failure. This started when they were young. Many parents expect their children to excel and do well, and protect them from failures or expect no failure from them. Hence, when these children become adults,  they may not have the tenacity to face failure.

Allow your child to fail. When he failed, guide him to overcome.

Gossip Is Enormously Destructive

Quoted from Zig Ziglar:

We frequently hear little jokes about gossip, like the two people who were talking and one said, "I can't tell you any more. I've already told you more than I heard" In that line is much of the tragedy of gossip, which can, and often has, destroyed a person's reputation. Gossip always damages relationships, specifically with the person you are gossiping about. For example, once you have said something unkind about a person, you will feel uncomfortable around them and your relationship with them will suffer.

Dr Adrian Rogers wisely points out that before we disseminate information that might be considered gossip, we must carefully ponder three questions:
1) Is it truth? If it fails the first test, then it is not repeatable.
2) Even if it is truth, do you need to share it? Will it help anyone? Will it hurt anyone? Would it be better left unsaid? If there are no benefits to anyone, then what possible purpose could repeating it serve? 
3) Is it kind? In our world so full of cynicism and skepticism, will repeating this story be kind? Would it better left unsaid? Would you really be better off repeating this information? 
When you analyse it this way, your chances of being a gossiper are dramatically reduced.

When you consider the benefits of stopping gossip in it tracks, you'll discover they're substantial.
First, you do not damage yourself, which means that your reputation and esteem are untarnished. That's good.
Second, you won't harm someone else's reputation. This means that you circle of friends will be larger. Since most of us do not have any friends we would like to lose, that's good.

Unquote.

Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do to you.
Setting a good role model for our children. Gossip not only will hurt you, it may hurt your family. Your children may also learn from you.
Stop it before it grows too big beyond control.

Getting Out of the Box

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

It is not the brains that matter most, but that which guides them - the character, the heart, generous qualities, progressive ideas. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Many people set low ceilings on their expectations and capabilities. In the process, they place themselves in a "box". Alexander Whortley took a step farther and literally lived in a box. It was a mini-trailer, three feet wide, four feet long, and five feet high. He lived there until he died at the age of eighty. His box was made of wood, had a metal roof, and it housed him and all his meager belongings. Regardless of where he worked, Whortley chose to spend his life in that cramped space, even though larger, more comfortable quarters were always available.

Few of us live in a "box". However, too many of us have a tendency to "box" ourselves in and continue to do things one way because we've "always done it this way." In many cases, time and experience have proved that "this way" is the best way. However, I challenge you to periodically take a long walk or quietly sit and think about the way you do things.
- Ask yourself if there might not be a better way.
- Could your procedures be simplified?
- Are they necessary at all?
- Could your product be longer? Shorter? A different shape? Another fabric? Another color?
Sometimes you can come up with simple ideas that make a big difference. Incidentally, one advantage of a way of life that includes continual personal growth and education is that the broader and deeper your knowledge base, the more creative your problem-solving approach to life.

Simple example: For years men's coats had an inside pocket only on the right where pens and other items were kept. One day somebody had a thought: Since most men are right-handed, why not put a pocket on the inside left so that they could reach in, extract the pen with their right hand, and begin writing? Not monumental, but it saves a second or two and it's sold lots of suits.
Unquote.

Microsoft team had an interesting thinking out of the box advertisement.
Do take a look.
As parent, we should not "box" our children up in their learning. Instead, believe that they can learn many things, in or out of the "box".

 Book Recommendation

Let Your Reach Exceed Your Grasp

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

Motivation is needed to change the costume of the dream to the work clothes of reality based on the goals generated by the dream.

In one of the US major universities a professor of economics gave a test to his class. The test had several sections of questions, each of which contained three categories of questions. He instructed the students to choose one question from each section on the test. The first category in each section was the hardest and was worth 50 points. The second category in each section was not quite as hard and worth 40 points. The third category in each section was the easiest and worth only 30 points.

When the students had taken the test and all the papers had been turned in, the students who had chosen the hardest questions, or the 50-point questions, were given A's. The students who had chosen the 40-point questions were given B's, and the students choosing the 30-point questions, or the easiest questions, were given C's. Whether or not their answers were correct was not considered. Understandably, the students were confused and asked the professor how he had graded the exam. The professor leaned back and with a smile explained, "I wasn't testing your knowledge. I was testing your aim."

I believe it was Browning who said, "Your reach should exceed your grasp, or what's a heaven for?" Langston Hughes wrote, "Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die then life is like a broken-winged bird that cannot fly." Yes, we need those dreams or, if you prefer a vision. Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said, "Where there is no vision, the people perish" (Pro.29:18 KJV). Helen Keller was asked the question, "What would be worse than being blind?" She responded that it would be definitely worse to have 20/20 eyesight and no vision than to be blind but have that vision.

In the declining years of his life, Albert Schweitzer was asked, "How goes it with you, Dr Schweitzer?" The aging medical missionary responded, "My eyesight grows dim, but my vision is clearer than ever."

Anti Roddick ~ If you ever think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in bed with a mosquito.
Unquote

Do you have a vision, a dream or plan for your child? Does your child has a vision, dream or plan of his own? If he doesn't have any, then help him to establish one. That is our role as parent. If you don't have a vision or dream for yourself, you may want to start having one now. It is never too late to have one.

Pull your dreams into the daylight,

And give them wings to fly.

Get on that runway called life. 

Then takeoff toward the sky.

The future of success is waiting.

This is “your” life, live it. - 

Quoted - http://karlenepetitt.blogspot.sg/2012/02/give-your-dreams-wings-to-fly.html#sthash.dykH4zvl.dpuf

Listen to this soothing instrumental music- Let Dream Fly

A beautiful Chinese Song: Let the Dreams Fly

Change Can Be Good for You

Quoted from Zig Ziglar short stories.

'We get comfort from those who agree with us and growth from those who don't'

In today's world of societal and corporate change, job security is a thing of the past. While we must face the fact that change is inevitable, we should also realise that many changes are positive and benefit both individuals and groups.

Some things you can change and some you can't. You cannot change when you were born, where you were born, how you were born, or to who you were born. It's a fact that if you were born Chinese you will always be a Chinese and if you both a Malay you will remain as a Malay. It's a fact that you cannot change a single event that has already happened. You can't change one whisper of yesterday. Tomorrow, however, is an entirely different matter. If you're willing to change your thinking today, you can change your life and your living to make your tomorrow better and brighter. 

Just to share a story quoted from http://changingminds.org/blog/0601blog/060127blog.htm

The Conquering Spirit The eleven king called together his three sons. "It is time for you to make your mark." he told them, "Beyond our borders are unknown worlds of dragons, maidens and black-hearted knights. Go out and conquer." And so his sons ate the feast of the departing, donned the green and set out across the world. * After three years, the first son returned and the whole court came out to greet him. "What have you conquered?" asked the king. "I have slain dragons, rescued maidens and vanquished black knights." spoke the son. "I have conquered lands such that our territories are now doubled in size." "Boldly done!" said the king, gravely, "Those new lands shall be your kingdom to rule and protect." * After three more years, the second son returned, and the whole family came out to greet him. "What have you conquered?" asked the king. "I have parlayed with dragons, negotiated with black knights and made the maidens fair swoon." replied the son. "I have conquered the minds and hearts of ten kingdoms, and we now have fond allies all of the way to the Azure Sea." "Brightly done!" cried the king, "You shall be my most noble lord, ambassador in my stead to all of the lands." * After three more years, the third son did not return. After three further years, he still did not return. After three years again, a ragged stranger walked alone up the steps to the royal court. The old king was the only person to recognize the stranger. He came down from his throne, embraced his third son deeply, and then asked, "What have you conquered?" The son smiled a long smile. "I have slept with dragons and caroused with knights. I have danced with maidens and sung with the children. I have laughed with old men on the quay and cried with old women left alone. I have howled at the moon and lain in the sun. I have scaled high mountains and seen distant lands of mystery and promise. I have plumbed the depths and met magicians of the mind. "I lost some fear and gained some wonder. I lost some of myself and found some of other people. I tore down the walls of ignorance and found many more. And I have found my way home. I have no need to conquer or fight or persuade. Today is now enough for a lifetime." A deep silence fell over the court as the king thought long and fully about what his son had said. "Wisely done." he said, eventually, "For you have conquered yourself, and the world and the worlds beyond shall be your playground."

Analyse your situation, Have you gone as far as you can go and are you doing as well as you can with present procedures? If so, don't be afraid to take two steps back if it will enable you to move three steps forward. Don't be afraid to face your fear, if by overcoming it can bring you further. Don't be afraid to go against the norm (as long as it is legal), if it can help you to become a better person. 

If you find that your child is not performing as good as his friends, or is not behaving as what you want him to be. Don't fret but  look at what he is doing, ask him what is his purpose of doing this or what is obstructing him for performing. 

What we are asking him to do, could be what we desire him to be, but may not be who he want to be.

Let them to explore and grow. Give them to space to change. 

Last but not least, allow yourself to change too. 

Fixing Problems

I am starting a new series, related to parenting, quoted from Zig Ziglar. Hope that you will enjoy his short stories.

There is a saying that said: "You don't 'forget' negative thinking - you force it out with positive input."

Can you remember a day when you did not have some 'problem,' irritation, disappointment, defeat, or setback of some kind? It might be having to make an unexpected stop at the petrol station because your spouse drove your car and forgotten to refill it. Or maybe your boss gave you incomplete information on an important project and now you have to start all over. If this could happen to you, it could also happen to your child.

The big issue is not the problems. Do you let a simple problem dictate how you should behave the rest of the day, even the way you deal with other people? Sometimes it's hard to do, but ask yourself the question, What real differences does this make in my life tonight, or even in the morning? In most cases, you'll realise that it really doesn't matter. With that in mind, you'll be able to forget the problem of the moment and move on. I recalled that I was angry with my son over a small matter and I scolded him. Come to think of it, do I need to scold him? Will scolding him solve the problem? It may make him feel embarrass, angry, sad, or may lower his self-esteem. Instead, if I make use of the opportunity and share with him a learning value, he will grow in his character.

In conclusion, you can take control of your own thoughts, actions and emotions, which means you can take control of your life. The best way to deal with problems is to reorder your thinking and see them as opportunities to grow or mature. It also helps to remember that if there were no problems in your job, chances are good you would not be needed in your job. Chances are also good that the greater the difficulties, the greater the need for you to be there to handle them. That's the reason you're on the payroll. Similar in parenting, when your child makes a mistake, or run to you to seek help, you should be happy that you have an opportunity to guide him, so that he will learn and build his character. That's the reason you are his parent.

"There was a time that people thought that WWII was the end of the world, but it turned out that it is a new beginning for many nations." ~ Fosnus

From: http://getfitjess.com/2013/06/emotions-controlling-you/

10 parenting lessons to learn from Lee Kuan Yew

Quoted from the "http://sg.theasianparent.com/parenting-lessons-to-learn-from-lee-kuan-yew/"

1) Teach your kids the values of being frugal
2) Treat everyone with respect
3) Enjoy life's simple pleasures
4) Don't put unnecessary pressure on your kids
5) Always believe in your kids' dreams
6) Have respect for your elders
7) Be present in your kids' lives
8) Inspire them with the novelty of hard work
9) Don't dwell on regrets
10) Sacrifices is the starting point of success

To find out more about parenting tips from our late founding father of Singapore, click on the link above.

http://www.malaysia-chronicle.com/media/k2/items/cache/331c2e20c1fde41030279b449a11841a_XL.jpg

Be a role model for your children

Image Credit : http://www.kikiandtea.com

How do you get kids and teens to do the right things?

Model what you want. You will be amazed at what you will learn.

Today my sharing will be short and sweet through watching two video clips.

Look at how children learn so fast without the parents teaching them step by step.

Learn how people model after one another, doing good.
Our children can also do the same.

Differences between parent and child

Sometimes it is difficult to adjust to a child that is your opposite. At times, an introvert parent can feel as if his extrovert child is a joy and a curse, and vice versa. Being different is a wonderful opportunity to teach your child about individual differences and how to accept them. Let your extrovert child know that you as a parent can be drained by too much going on, and that you need breaks to recharge your energy in way you child may not. Tell him that you want to be involved in their activities, but don't hesitate to set limits. Eg, you can set limits for certain activities, or set a limit for the number of sport events to attend. You don't have to feel like a bad parent if you can't keep up with your extrovert child.

Some parents teach their children about extrovert and introvert differences so that they are more aware of their tendencies, as well as other peoplets tendencies.

Marti Olsen, author of The Introvert Advantage says:
"At the dinner table make sure all the children have a turn to talk. Introverts feel uncomfortable about interrupting, so they may not join a family discussion. If they know they are going to have a turn, they can have time to prepare their thoughts. Help the talker learn to wait for their slower-paced brother or sister. Don't let one sibling interrupt or talk for another. It's obvious that no child should be made fun of or humiliated for his or her communication style.

Encourage the other siblings to wait if an introverted child takes longer to give his opinion. Eg: "John needs a minute to think about that, Sam. Let's see what she thinks." By respecting everyone in the family, all of your children will develop stronger interpersonal skills."

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Learning Differences

Children are different in other ways such as speed of learning. For example, it seems that some children possess their type of intelligence from birth. They are born with their one or two areas of giftedness already developed. Other children may be gradual learners, while some children are late bloomers.

Some people call children who fall into one of these three kinds of learning runners, walkers and jumpers:

Runner
When a runner is given a new task, he understands it immediately. He learns quickly, but to stay interested and involved, he needs to be challenged.

Walker
A walker takes longer to learn but responds well to instruction. This child seems to learn a little, gets better and then lets you know he is learning. Encouragement does wonders for a walker.

Jumper
A jumper is usually a challenge for parents. He takes a long time to learn, and you may wonder if he is ever going to get it. Yes, this child takes instruction, but he doesn't seem to show any signs of learning. You wonder if your jumper is listening. You teach him again and again, but he doesn't seem to get it. Again and again you go over his homework, how to feed the dog or greet people, but he keeps forgetting. You wonder, where is my child's head right now? You wonder if anything is getting through, but then one day it clicks. You had no idea. Unfortunately what hinders a jumper from learning is the parent or teacher who gives up on the child.

Some children are runners in one area and jumpers in another area. And in the area where the child is a jumper, he may be uncooperative and resistant, but that doesn't mean the child is low in this area of intelligence. It could be the area in which the child has his greatest strength.

In addition, just because he is runner in one area, doesn't mean he will excel in that area. The easiest path does not always correlate with the area of the greatest strength.

Take note, different children have different strengths. Don't compare, instead try to discover each child's uniqueness, and encourage him to grow and reinforce the growth. Be patience.

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Intelligence Differences

Children come with different personalities and different types of intelligence.
Are you aware of the eight kinds of intelligence, and the fact that each child is born with a unique distribution of each? Some of these intelligence types may surprises you:


1. Emotional Intelligence: Some children have strong emotional intelligence and have a unique ability to establish and maintain healthy relationship with others and themselves. They are able to handle feelings and empathize.


2. Academic Intelligence: Those who have strong academic intelligence do well in school, for they can sit, listen, learn and absorb and comprehend. Yet, it doesn't mean they can apply all this knowledge or use it constructively in life.


3. Physical Intelligence: These children do well at sport, as well as maintain their bodies in a positive way. Example ballet dancer.


4. Creative Intelligence: These children have a more developed imagination. When the imagination is stimulated, it grows. They often think differently, are more original and create in their own way.


5. Artistic Intelligence: The children are interested in drawing, writing, acting, singing, playing instrument and so on.


6. Commonsense Intelligence: These children are practical rather than intellectual. They want what is relevant and useful. They want to apply what works.


7. Intuitive Intelligence: Information simply just come to the children rather than being taught or told. It is as if they have sixth sense and can understand information without having to study all the details.


8. Gifted Intelligence: The children are good at certain types of intelligence, but not as good at others. It seems that all their eggs end up in one basket. They may need to develop their special skills, as well as get help for other kinds of intelligence.


So which types of intelligence is your child gifted?

Two children may be gifted in the same area of intelligence, but they may reflect it differently because of variables such as personality and environment.

Most important, if a child focuses only on his or her strengths, the child misses out on other parts of life, which creates imbalance.

Our task as parents is not to fall into the trap of encouraging our children's strength alone but to encourage other areas as well.

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