We're Both on the Same Side

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

~ Remember that when you're standing on the edge of a cliff, the best way to make progress is to back up.

One of my favorite stories concerns a young lad who was confronted by three bullies with violence in mind. Quickly, the little guy drew a line on the ground, stepped back several feet, looked the biggest bully in the eye and said, "Now, you just step over that line." Confidently, the big bully stepped over the line, preparing to commit mayhem on the little guy. Quickly the little fellow grinned and said, "Now we're both on the same side."

Physically, they were both on the same side. But emotionally they were still some distance apart. The smaller boy improved his chances of getting on the same side emotionally by his touch of wit and wisdom. This is an excellent combination to diffuse most crisis situations and represents a major step in solving whatever problem exist.

There are several lessons parents, managers, and educators can learn from this little vignette.

• First, whether it is a parent-child, management-labor, or teacher-student situation, both really are on the same side and the best way to win is for both sides to win. 
• Second, a sense of humor can be very helpful in removing communications barrier by revealing your human side and establishing rapport. 
• Third, sometimes it's necessary for the big bully (the person in authority) to move to the other side of the table (across the line). This let associates, children, or employees clearly understand that they really are on the same side and open to listening to ideas from both sides of that line.
• Fourth, it is always important and to our advantage to maintain our perspective by being open and fair-minded as we look at life from the other person's perspective.

~ Enjoy your kids while they're young and still on your side.
Unquote.


Dear Parents,
When your child throws tantrums, whining, or angry with you for certain things, it is because he is not on your side. Instead, of being angry and punish him, why not think of other ways to get them over to your side.
Yesterday, when I came home, I witnessed my son whining and crying loudly because his mother didn't allow him to do something that he insisted on doing. I tried to talk to him gently to get him to stop whining and crying, but to no avail. Hence, I decided to redirect his attention to other thing instead of focusing on what he wanted to do. I got him to my side, and immediately, he stopped his whining and crying.
When a child is crying or whining, it is very difficult to talk sense into them. In fact, the more you talk to them, the more he may whine or cry, and make you angrier. But when he is in a stable condition, it is easier to tell them what is right and wrong. Be it a little child or a teenager, all we need is to try to get them to our side. Maybe, occasionally, you can get over to their side and try to understand them.

Looking for Mutually Beneficial Solutions

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

A winner is big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them. ~ John Maxwell

Every problem has a solution, but the best solutions are always mutually beneficial. Howard Putnam, in his book The Winds of Turbulence , tells this story. Baylor Hospital in Dallas had a major problem. They could  not get enough nurses who were willing to work weekends because they wanted to be with their families. But the leadership recognised that there were also a number of nurses, particularly those who had young children, who wanted to be with their children during the week so they could spend as much time with them as possible. In most cases, married nurses had husbands who worked a Monday-through-Friday schedule. Single mothers had an even greater need to be with their children as much as possible, so the thinking was very simple: Can we meet the needs of all these nurses?

Leadership then asked the question, "How can we help these mothers get what they want? How can we help the full-time nurses get what they want?" The solution, as Mr Putnam points out, was so obvious, one wonders why it took them so long to come up with the answer. Here's what they did: Since weekend work is generally considered overtime, they decided to make Saturday and Sunday twelve-hour shifts, for a total of twenty-four hours of duty. They paid these nurses for a full forty-hour week, so those nurses were elated to be able to get that kind of duty. On the other hand, the nurses who simply did not want to work overtime or weekends were elated that they could maintain their normal schedule. This truly was a win-win situation. The weekend nurses won, the full-time nurses won, and the hospital and patients were also big winners.

That's leadership at its best. The message is clear: Examine your alternatives; explore what the problem might be and ask yourself the question - Is the solution in the problems? In many cases it is.

Dennis The Menace ~ My problem is that I'm always good when nobody is watching.

Unquote.

Dear Parents,
When you face with some problems in handling your child, ask yourself these few questions:
1) What cause the problems to arise?
2) What have you tried to solve the problems?
3) Is the problem, the problem? Or is it that you think that it is a problem?
4) For every problem, there bounds to be a solution. Find it.

Hugging is the Answer

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

Watch your thought, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
- Motto, Metropolitan Milwaukee YMCA

Perhaps I feel this way because my wife is affectionately known as "The Happy Hugger." If it's moving she'll stop it and hug it, and if it's not moving, she'll dust it off and sell it! However, there's another reason I believe hugging is the answer. According to Greg Risberg of the Northwestern University Medical School in Chicago, the physiological benefits of hugging include a reduction of blood pressure and increased oxygen in the blood. He says that we all have a "skin hunger," and we are missing out on a vital part of our health if we're not getting in on some serious hugging. He maintains that four hugs a day are the minimum required to meet that skin hunger. From my perspective, I need lots more than four. Stanley Simon of the University of Massachusetts says that "hugging does more demonstrate affection. It actually seems to keep people healthy. The skin is the body's largest sensory organ. If it's under stimulated, many people actually develop an aching sensation. These are the people who will find it harder to get well and to stay well."

For the benefit of you husbands, let me tell you something about your wives. They love hugs but resent it when you ignore them all day and then give them your undivided attention when the lights go out at night. They want a hug when a hug is all you have on your mind. They don't necessarily want them to be long, and in most cases, they do not want them to be suggestive or sensual. The hug really says, "I love you, I enjoy being around you, your're important to me, I  look forward to spending more time with you." There's an old saying that actions speak louder that words, and to take a few seconds a number of times during the day to get and give those nonsuggestive hugs really speaks volumes. Give it a try.

~ When you act like a skunk, someone will eventually get wind of it. ~

Unquote.

Dear husband and wife, when is the last time that both of you hug one another?
When is the last time you say "I love you" to one another?
If you did not hug or say that to your spouse, most probably, you also did not do that to your children.
It only takes you a second to say "I love you" and another two to give a good hug.
Start doing it if you have not done so.
Do it for a day, you will see small changes.
Do it for a long time, you will see miracle.

Hope in the Future

Quoted from Zig Ziglar

Things turn out the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.

Dr John Maxwell says that if there's hope in the future there is power in the present. The reason is simple: Hope in the future has a dramatic impact on your thinking today. Your thinking today determines your performance today, and your performance today has a direct bearing on your future. Dr Tony Campolo of Eastern College in Pennsylvania says that your past is important because it brought you to where you are, but as important as your past is, it is not nearly as important as the way you see your future. He is saying, "I understand the problems of your past. I know that  you were abused as a child, raised by alcoholic parents, suffered through bankruptcy, depression, and/or alcoholism. You've gone through one or more divorces. All of these things are traumatic events that affect the way you think and the way you act." In no way is Dr Campolo denying any of the impact of your past, because many of those events are extremely significant. However, he is saying that despite all these things, the way you see your future is even more important.

John Johnson, publisher and owner of Ebony magazine and one of the four hundred wealthiest men in in America, says that "men and women are limited not by the place of their birth, not by the color of their skin, but by the size of their hope."

Make friends with your past so you can focus on today, which will make your tomorrows even better. If you are familiar with my material, you  realize that my nature is that of an optimist -- I just can't see any point in being pessimistic. I'm not talking about denial of reality; what I am talking about is facing reality, but facing it in an optimistic way.

It may be true that most people can't handle prosperity, but it is also true that most people don't have to.
Unquote.

Dear parents, if today you realise that you have made a mistake in your parenting style, it is not too late to change. The problem is, you may not want to change. Don't give yourself excuses. Acknowledge your mistake and move on.